La Femme Curiosita

Author: Stefania

  • A Season Of Change

    Hi, it’s been some time since I last shared an update – JUNE in fact and so much has happened.

    After spending fourteen years at my last company, it’s been strangely freeing to realize I can begin somewhere else and that not everything needs to be permanent. Being a temp has its own rhythm; I’m part of the team but not entirely woven into the fabric, and there’s an awareness that this chapter will end. I’m learning to sit with that instead of clinging to the illusion of stability.

    I also moved. I spent the last four years living alone in my apartment, which was an experience I am utterly grateful for. It was a period of quiet independence and learning how to fill my own space. Saying goodbye felt bittersweet, but stepping into something new feels right like I’ve outgrown the version of myself who needed that cocoon.

    And then, Portugal. We went for a wedding, and it turned out to be everything I hoped for. The food, the cliffs, the energy! Even the drive down south was its own memory of long open roads and this sense of calm I haven’t experienced on European roads before. (I didn’t drive, but still.) There’s a whole separate post coming for that trip.

    What ties all of this together is that everything in my life feels like it’s in motion .. my work, my home, even the places I’m drawn to. Change used to scare me, but lately it feels like the only way forward.

    A few other noteworthy things lately:

    I’ve been practicing watercolor again, and the lemons below actually made me smile, they were the first ones that felt like talent on the page.

    My mom made homemade mozzarella, and of course she made it look effortless. It’s simpler than I expected, and now I’m convinced I need to try it myself.

    I finally went to Oysterfest. Not life-changing, but it was a fun afternoon and I’m glad I experienced it.

    Tried a Georgian restaurant in the city& absolutely going back. The flavors were so different from anything I usually eat.

    Took myself to Sugarfish because sometimes a solo sushi date is necessary. It never disappoints.

    And I have to say… I might be at my culinary peak when it comes to breakfast. That egg taco? Top-tier. Honestly proud of it.

    And that’s a wrap for now.

    December always feels a little enchanted, maybe it’s just NYC being magical this time of year. With all the change lately, I’m realizing there’s probably more ahead for me than I expected, and that I can actually handle it.

    Ciao xo

  • Bucket lists and plans

    Yesterday, I found myself surprised by how fast time can fly, even when you’re unemployed and, on paper, have nowhere pressing to be. It’s been ages since I last felt genuinely bored. And yet, there’s this voice inside me being a bit hard on myself, wondering if I should have accomplished more by now.

    But then it hit me: I don’t even have a list of what those things are!

    If I don’t write things down, they don’t really exist for me. When someone asks, “What’s the next place on your travel list?” I freeze. My mental filing cabinet feels jammed, and the answer just won’t come. Funny enough, as I type this, I realize I’ve already written a blog post about having a bucket list. Clearly, it’s been tucked away in the “out of sight, out of mind” drawer.

    Today, I’m committing to some mental decluttering. Time to pull out those dusty files, rewrite the lists, and remember what matters to me.

    ciao xo

  • Thoughts – “I Who Have Never Known Men”

    (Potential spoilers below)

    This weekend I finished I Who Have Never Known Men, a speculative novel by Jacqueline Harpman, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

    The story begins in a bunker where 40 women are being held under strict surveillance. None of them know how they got there, or where there even is. Among them is a young girl, the only one without any memories of life before captivity. One day, a siren blares, the guards panic, and in their rush, they leave the gate to the women’s cell unlocked. The women escape, but what awaits them is not freedom in any familiar sense – only a vast, barren landscape and the eerie discovery that they may be completely alone in the world. As they wander, they come across more bunkers just like their own – except in those, the occupants never made it out.

    Much like The Aosawa Murders, I tore through this book, driven by a need to understand what was going on, only to realize that the mystery itself might be the point. The farther the women travel, the more each discovery destabilizes their hope. Every cabin they find seems to ask: was this escape a blessing, or just a slower death?

    One thing that stayed with me most was the girl’s silent, persistent watching of the youngest guard. She stares at him, hoping he’ll acknowledge her – break from the mechanical detachment that defines their captors. He never does. And yet, when the chaos begins, it’s only their cell that’s left unlocked. I can’t stop thinking this wasn’t random. Maybe that young guard left the keys as a final, quiet defiance.

    There are no children in any of the other bunkers. No signs of life elsewhere. What if this unlikely connection between two young people, made entirely without words, was the only act of rebellion the system couldn’t predict?

    I’m still trying to piece together what this book stirred in me. It’s about survival, yes – but survival stripped of purpose, connection, even memory. What happens when you’re alive, but there’s no one to witness it? No history to return to, no future to build toward?

    I keep thinking about the title: I Who Have Never Known Men. It’s not just about absence .. it’s about being untouched by a certain kind of power, desire, violence, maybe even language. Is the girl freer because she’s unmarked by what came before, or more lost because she has no reference point at all? I don’t know yet. But I think Harpman wanted it that way.

  • A Love Letter to Rossano

    Buongiornio,

    The sun rises early and lands on my face. I squint at the clock – 6:30 a.m. Normally I’d groan, but not here. Here, it means it’s time to move. I put on my jogging shorts and shoes and decide if I want to stroll the water or if I have energy for a jog. Mornings are my favorite time for movement here also because the sun feels deadly after 8 a.m.

    I head to the water, it’s quiet save for a few folks doing the same as I am, and it’s already hot – I am in heaven.

    On my way back I daydream of the first coffee I will have. My mokapot at home never hits the same – how could it? Everything here tastes better. I prepare my coffee but hop in the shower first, a quick rinse as the water is finicky and this won’t be my only shower of the day. I sip my coffee black and rich and welcome the warmth, not that I need any more heat.

    Slowly, I pick out a linen or cotton dress, anything else would feel like a sauna. I head to my aunt’s and ask if she wants to grab collazione. We walk to the bar and order cappuccino and croissants. I save the receipt to show friends back home how two cappuccinos and two croissants cost just seven euro. It never ceases to amaze me. The cappuccino is also the way it should be – about five ounces, not a drop more. Afterwards, we head to the beach where we swim in the clear, beautiful water and lay in the sun until it’s time for lunch..

    As I won’t be going to Italy this summer I’m reminiscing on the beauty of the land and how much joy I feel when I am there. The heat can be intense but having the sea a few steps away makes it all the more magical.

    ciao xo

  • Falling into Comfort

    I had this realization today, it’s not new – and it’s possible I may have written about it before but .. I have this habit of identifying an issue, and then working to correct it. Then, once I do, I stop doing the very actions that helped me – because everything feels fine… until it doesn’t.

    For example, maybe it’s meditating. I will do that if I start to realize I am in my head a bit more or stressed, and I start that practice again. Then once I feel happy and healed I disregard the meditation and slowly I end up back where I started. Why do I do this?

    This came up recently for me as I am experiencing some neck tightness, similar to how I felt post surgery 2 years ago. My doctor asked if I have been stressed and it seems I’m clenching my jaw a lot and I realized, I have totally let me nightly winddown routine go! Of course that isn’t the cause of my stress, I am sure being jobless is contributing but I’ve let go of the anchor that was helping me through it.

    So tonight, I’m going to do one small thing to reconnect with what grounds me – maybe a stretch, maybe a guided meditation, or maybe just silence before bed. I don’t need to overhaul everything, but I do want to remember that these habits aren’t just tools to fix something; they’re part of how I care for myself, always.

    I want to catch myself when I start falling into comfort, so I can hold on to the things that keep me steady, not just when things are hard, but always.

    Thanks for tuning in xo ciao!

  • When Life Pushes You

    It’s been longer than I’d like to admit since I last posted. In April, I was part of a layoff – something I always knew could happen but felt safely out of reach. When it finally did, it left me feeling unmoored, uncertain, and honestly, a little frozen ..

    Since then, I’ve been applying to roles, trying to stay curious, and deepening my creativity by working through The Artist’s Way. It’s not always easy – I’ve hit some resistance, which the book says is normal, but that doesn’t make it feel any less frustrating.

    One thing that’s helped me reconnect with inspiration is art (thanks to the book). I recently spent an afternoon at the Met, letting myself wander without a plan. There’s something grounding about being surrounded by so much history and creativity.

    Here are a few things that touched me:

    One thing I keep returning to: if you don’t make a change, life will often do it for you. I know I tend to hesitate when something feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable. Discomfort makes my whole body tense, like when I spot a bug and instantly feel a wave of tingles. It’s irrational, but powerful. Still, I’ve realized the only way to move through that discomfort is to stop avoiding it.

    I’m still in the thick of things, but I’m choosing to show up – discomfort, resistance, and all. Maybe this is what growth actually looks like: a little messy, a little scary, but deeply human.

    Strangely enough, this unexpected time off has also created space for something I’ve been putting off: getting my Italian citizenship paperwork in order. It’s a process I’ve wanted to tackle for years but always felt too busy to manage. Losing my job gave me the gift of time and urgency – and also an appointment with the consulate!

    If you’re going through a season of change, I see you. We don’t always get to choose the timing, but we can choose how we respond.

  • What’s On My Mind (Besides Everything)

    Book paralysis + closet overwhelm

    1. I need a new book to read

    I’m in a bit of a rut.

    I have so many books at home! My kindle and audible accounts are filled with more books. I also have a TBR list that will probably outlive me.

    The problem? I can’t seem to pick a book. Actually, I just want one that isn’t one of those options.

    What I really need is something new and invigorating. I lean towards historical fiction or self-improvement books but also go through fantasy periods.

    I’m craving something I can’t put down. Maybe a story that makes me cry a little or stay up too late reading. My friend recommend “That’s not my name” or I saw a TikTok talking about “The Sunflower House” which is totally up my alley..

    TBD. I’ll report back next week if I find the one

    2. How do I get rid of all my clothes, buy new ones and still save money?

    I wouldn’t call myself a hoarder, but I do struggle parting with clothing. A part of me knows that trends come and go. For example, I don’t want to get rid of my J.Crew army green embellished coat, but at the same time, I don’t have room for all the coats I own!

    Some of these pieces just don’t bring me joy, nor do they help me when I’m standing in front of my closet every morning. I envy those minimalists with capsule wardrobes. I want that! Also, I’d love jeans that actually fit my body type, so I wouldn’t need four different pairs.

    I’m trying to get to a place where getting dressed doesn’t feel like a battle.

    Imagine:

    One pair of jeans that fits perfectly, one coat I actually wear, and being able to pack for a trip knowing I’ll love how everything looks.

    I did just buy a linen dress from Aritzia that makes me feel put-together without even trying. So maybe that’s a start. This is my favorite dress style for summer, btw.

    I would also love it in Oak and Dew Blue (help).

    Image via Aritzia.com

    3. Reconnecting with Inspiration

    I sometimes find myself wishing I could listen to something for the first time again. I remember when I first uncovered podcasts that weren’t just about true crime (though Serial holds a special place in my heart for being my introduction to podcasts).

    It amazed me how some of the ideas felt so obvious, yet I’d never thought about them that way before

    Lately, I’ve been diving back into some of my favorite podcast episodes, revisiting the ones that initially sparked so much growth and inspiration in me.

    It’s always interesting how hearing something again can feel different, as I’ve grown or shifted. I’m also reminding myself that staying in action is key, that little push can get me back on track when I forget that things are always working out for me.

    Here are a two of my favorite episodes that I’ve been wanting to re-listen to lately:

    Martha Beck ON: How To Let Go of Fear, Stop Listening to Others, and Learn To Trust Yourself :

    I listen to this at least once a year.This episode was a beautiful reminder that living in alignment with ourselves often means breaking away from what’s expected. And that maybe we’re not scared of change, we’re just scared of being who we really are.

    7 Leonardo Da Vinci Exercises To Awaken Your Genius – Michael J. Gelb

    I actually haven’t listened to this one in a while but it’s on my list for this weekend. I remember being in awe of the concepts and felt so inspired after listening to it. It made creativity feel more attainable, like something you can actually build with a little more curiosity and intention.

    One line I think about: “The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask.”

    Definitely worth a re-listen.

    I plan to do a full list of my favorite podcasts in the future, so stay tuned for more inspiration to come!

    In the meantime, if you haven’t listened to these yet, I highly recommend checking them out, they’re definitely worth a second (or third) listen!

    Note: Some links in this post may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you decide to make a purchase. It helps support the reading addiction at no extra cost to you. Thanks for reading!

  • From Overthinking to Adventure: Turning 35

    From Overthinking to Adventure: Turning 35

    Five years ago, I celebrated my golden birthday, 30 on the 30th. It was March of 2020. We all know how that went. Oddly, I felt relieved not to have to plan a big celebration.

    I had hoped to take a trip to Arizona with friends, but I couldn’t fathom aligning schedules or even figuring out who to include. In the end, I found myself worrying more about other people’s feelings than my own, a common theme for me.

    So when the world shut down, I used it as a perfect excuse to avoid worrying about my birthday altogether.

    In hindsight, it ended up being a day filled with so much love. Friends sent sweet words, and food was delivered to my door. I felt more loved than I expected, and it reminded me of how many people care about me. I didn’t even have to ask. 

    Since then, I’ve tried to make birthdays more about me. I’ve learned to focus less on others’ expectations and more on what I really want.

    At 32, I traveled to Germany to visit family, and it turned out to be one of my favorite birthdays. My cousin showed me around Berlin, my personal tour guide! We visited her mom who made me a traditional German breakfast and dinner, and then my uncle made homemade pizza. Simple but so special.

    At 33, I wanted to go to Paris. Originally, I planned to go solo, but my mom, who’d always wanted to visit, joined me. Looking back, I think she didn’t want me going alone.

    Last year, at 34, I struggled. I was caught up in this desire for the “perfect” birthday but didn’t even know what that meant. My friends and I went to New Orleans to celebrate two of our birthdays, so I already felt like I’d celebrated.

    Afterwards, I still planned a small night out, though I wasn’t really sure that’s what I wanted.

    What I’ve learned is this.

    My favorite birthdays have been the ones where I do what I want, without worrying about everyone else’s experience. Or where I am surprised by the kindness and love of the people around me, without feeling like a burden.

    All that being said ..

    I don’t want to put too much pressure on what turning 35 means.

    I do want to be more intentional, both in how I shape this year and the years to come. I love my self-awareness, but sometimes I wonder if it holds me back from being fully authentic.

    On one hand, mindfulness has helped me become less reactive and anxious.

    But, I also worry that in my efforts to stay grounded, I don’t always let people see all the parts of me. Especially those parts that are fearful.

    I want to get better at sharing not for reassurance, but for real connection.

    So as I step into 35, I want to focus less on over analyzing and more on doing. 

    On making choices that align with what excites me, challenges me, and brings me joy. 

    Some of those things are small shifts in my routine, and others are dreams I’ve carried for years.

    But first, a reminder of all I’ve already done:

    • Traveled solo to Arizona
    • Ran a half marathon
    • Started this blog (!!)
    • Strengthened my Italian and picked up French along the way
    • Learned to advocate for myself in work and life
    • Went to Paris twice 
    • Went to the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa
    • Went to a ballet
    • Canoed into a cave in Belize
    • Visited Mayan Ruins
    • Stood at the Berlin Wall 
    • Traveled with my boyfriend for the first time
    • Posted silly videos on Tiktok
    • Participated in a 5k Turkey trot on Thanksgiving

    This Year

    • Take Ice Skating lessons
    • Consistent blog posts
    • Continue perfecting Italian
    • Find an organization to support/volunteer
    • Pick a career enhancing course or certificate program

    Life Bucket List

    • Hike a volcano
    • Swim in crystal blue oceans
    • Go on a Safari
    • Visit Pompeii
    • Swim with dolphins
    • Meet an elephant
    • Create something meaningful 
    • Live in Europe for a period of time
    • See an Opera

    & I expect the list will only continue to grow

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that life keeps evolving, and so do I.

    I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get things right, but maybe it’s less about getting it right and more about just living.

    Embracing the things that light me up

    Letting go of the things that don’t

    Trusting that I’m exactly where I need to be.

    So here’s to 35! To less overthinking & more doing. 

    To more adventure, learning & growth and moments that make me feel incredible joy. That type of belly laugh you only experience in special moments, I’d like some more of that this year.

    Ciao xo

  • Things On My Mind This Week

    Things On My Mind This Week

    This week felt like a whirlwind of emotions. One moment, I’m deep in thought, brimming with ideas, and the next, all I want is to curl up on the sofa with a book, letting myself disappear into a world that isn’t mine.

    On that note, here are a few things that sparked something in me this week..whether a thought, a feeling, or just a small moment of joy.

    A Book I Couldn’t Put Down

    Circe by Madeline Miller

    Books have a way of affecting people differently. So much of it depends on how we relate to certain characters, their choices, and even where we are in our own lives at the moment we read them.

    It always fascinates me how the same book can leave such different impressions. A friend gave this one three stars, while I gave it five. For me, it struck a deep chord, probably because I saw so much of myself in Circe.

    I’m saving the deep dive for another day, but if you’ve ever found yourself over-giving, people-pleasing, and unsure why things aren’t working out in what you believe is your favor, give this one a go.

    If you’re interested in exploring Circe for yourself, you can grab a copy here

    My Next Read

    I have to say my TBR list is long, and the amount of books I have stacked up in my apartment continues to grow

    YET

    My friend recommended The Will of the Many and now I can’t stop thinking about how I must read it. An apology to all the books waiting in queue but what can I say.

    A Thought

    I saw an Instagram post that I wish I saved, it said:

    Men’s hormones cycle 24 hours like the Sun and Women’s cycle 28 days like the phases of the moon.

    I’ve been thinking about it all week. Isn’t it wild, yet deeply fascinating, how much we mirror the universe? It feels as though we’re connected to something much larger than ourselves, that we are more aligned with the rhythms of nature than we realize ..

    or maybe most of us already have realized this but we just need these small reminders

    Dreams & Bacon

    Ever have one of those moments where something in your day reminds you of a dream you had?

    I took a bite of my favorite morning wrap, and suddenly, I remembered dreaming about bacon the night before. Why it matters, I’m not sure.

    But it’s so bizarre how we can forget our dreams and then something like this happens, and you start questioning if you were eating a plate of bacon yesterday (I wasn’t).

    Whenever I have an odd dream, I love to dissect it or ask ChatGPT what it could mean.

    I went through a phase where I would constantly dream the same thing (it’s a bit too strange to get into, but it involved a lot of bugs) and the common theme was anxiety, which was something I was dealing with at the time.

    It’s wild how often our dreams seem to mirror what we’re feeling or experiencing in our waking lives.

    Maybe it’s just a reminder to slow down and reflect on what we need, even when we don’t realize it. Sometimes these small, strange moments make me pause and take a closer look at what’s going on inside.

    Why bacon? Even ChatGPT isn’t sure. But it’s clear that it’s been a week of reflection for me.

    Note: Some links in this post may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you decide to make a purchase. It helps support the reading addiction at no extra cost to you. Thanks for reading!

  • La Femme Curiosita: A Journey of Discovery

    La Femme Curiosita: A Journey of Discovery

    Figuring things out one thought, book, song, and moment at a time.

    I did something today.

    I have to admit I am prone to being impulsive. The minute I think of something, I have the urge to see it through right away. If I have a grand idea, I feel an immediate need to act on it. Sometimes this impulsiveness has its downsides, but we’ll save that for another time.

    So today, I was thinking about what to call my blog.

    This is something I have been tinkering with for over a year. I had no motivation to start aside from a nagging thought in my head. Then I stumbled upon this name.

    La femme curiosita 

    What makes me warm and fuzzy inside is how ridiculous it is. It has that special je ne sais quoi, you know? It doesn’t seem to follow grammar rules, something I do not do when speaking Italian. I felt it made sense for me as I am figuring things out as I go.

    I’m not here with all the answers, nor do I have a clear direction for where this will go. But what I do have is a love for discovery, a desire to learn more, and a willingness to explore whatever comes to mind.

    The world is full of endless little wonders, and I want to document those moments of curiosity, however small they be.

    So join me as I figure it out. I promise there’s no agenda, just a journey of things I’m loving, discovering, and pondering along the way.

    Ciao