The sun rises early and lands on my face. I squint at the clock – 6:30 a.m. Normally I’d groan, but not here. Here, it means it’s time to move. I put on my jogging shorts and shoes and decide if I want to stroll the water or if I have energy for a jog. Mornings are my favorite time for movement here also because the sun feels deadly after 8 a.m.
I head to the water, it’s quiet save for a few folks doing the same as I am, and it’s already hot – I am in heaven.
On my way back I daydream of the first coffee I will have. My mokapot at home never hits the same – how could it? Everything here tastes better. I prepare my coffee but hop in the shower first, a quick rinse as the water is finicky and this won’t be my only shower of the day. I sip my coffee black and rich and welcome the warmth, not that I need any more heat.
Slowly, I pick out a linen or cotton dress, anything else would feel like a sauna. I head to my aunt’s and ask if she wants to grab collazione. We walk to the bar and order cappuccino and croissants. I save the receipt to show friends back home how two cappuccinos and two croissants cost just seven euro. It never ceases to amaze me. The cappuccino is also the way it should be – about five ounces, not a drop more. Afterwards, we head to the beach where we swim in the clear, beautiful water and lay in the sun until it’s time for lunch..
As I won’t be going to Italy this summer I’m reminiscing on the beauty of the land and how much joy I feel when I am there. The heat can be intense but having the sea a few steps away makes it all the more magical.
Five years ago, I celebrated my golden birthday, 30 on the 30th. It was March of 2020. We all know how that went. Oddly, I felt relieved not to have to plan a big celebration.
I had hoped to take a trip to Arizona with friends, but I couldn’t fathom aligning schedules or even figuring out who to include. In the end, I found myself worrying more about other people’s feelings than my own, a common theme for me.
So when the world shut down, I used it as a perfect excuse to avoid worrying about my birthday altogether.
In hindsight, it ended up being a day filled with so much love. Friends sent sweet words, and food was delivered to my door. I felt more loved than I expected, and it reminded me of how many people care about me. I didn’t even have to ask.
Since then, I’ve tried to make birthdays more about me. I’ve learned to focus less on others’ expectations and more on what I really want.
At 32, I traveled to Germany to visit family, and it turned out to be one of my favorite birthdays. My cousin showed me around Berlin, my personal tour guide! We visited her mom who made me a traditional German breakfast and dinner, and then my uncle made homemade pizza. Simple but so special.
At 33, I wanted to go to Paris. Originally, I planned to go solo, but my mom, who’d always wanted to visit, joined me. Looking back, I think she didn’t want me going alone.
Last year, at 34, I struggled. I was caught up in this desire for the “perfect” birthday but didn’t even know what that meant. My friends and I went to New Orleans to celebrate two of our birthdays, so I already felt like I’d celebrated.
Afterwards, I still planned a small night out, though I wasn’t really sure that’s what I wanted.
What I’ve learned is this.
My favorite birthdays have been the ones where I do what I want, without worrying about everyone else’s experience. Or where I am surprised by the kindness and love of the people around me, without feeling like a burden.
All that being said ..
I don’t want to put too much pressure on what turning 35 means.
I do want to be more intentional, both in how I shape this year and the years to come. I love my self-awareness, but sometimes I wonder if it holds me back from being fully authentic.
On one hand, mindfulness has helped me become less reactive and anxious.
But, I also worry that in my efforts to stay grounded, I don’t always let people see all the parts of me. Especially those parts that are fearful.
I want to get better at sharing not for reassurance, but for real connection.
So as I step into 35, I want to focus less on over analyzing and more on doing.
On making choices that align with what excites me, challenges me, and brings me joy.
Some of those things are small shifts in my routine, and others are dreams I’ve carried for years.
But first, a reminder of all I’ve already done:
Traveled solo to Arizona
Ran a half marathon
Started this blog (!!)
Strengthened my Italian and picked up French along the way
Learned to advocate for myself in work and life
Went to Paris twice
Went to the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa
Went to a ballet
Canoed into a cave in Belize
Visited Mayan Ruins
Stood at the Berlin Wall
Traveled with my boyfriend for the first time
Posted silly videos on Tiktok
Participated in a 5k Turkey trot on Thanksgiving
This Year
Take Ice Skating lessons
Consistent blog posts
Continue perfecting Italian
Find an organization to support/volunteer
Pick a career enhancing course or certificate program
Life Bucket List
Hike a volcano
Swim in crystal blue oceans
Go on a Safari
Visit Pompeii
Swim with dolphins
Meet an elephant
Create something meaningful
Live in Europe for a period of time
See an Opera
& I expect the list will only continue to grow
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that life keeps evolving, and so do I.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get things right, but maybe it’s less about getting it right and more about just living.
Embracing the things that light me up
Letting go of the things that don’t
Trusting that I’m exactly where I need to be.
So here’s to 35! To less overthinking & more doing.
To more adventure, learning & growth and moments that make me feel incredible joy. That type of belly laugh you only experience in special moments, I’d like some more of that this year.
La Femme Curiosita 